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Professor Wrestling: Hot Shots

Things That Tick Me Off

POSTED: 1:15 am EDT August 1, 2008
UPDATED: 1:28 am EDT August 1, 2008

Listen up!

It's hot, and I'm in the mood to take a few shots at those involved in the sports entertainment industry. Here goes:

Fire 1: HHH Vs. The Great Khali?
This is a "SummerSlam" main event for the WWE Championship. Khali? It's looks like Vince McMahon's favorite son-in-law not only gets to carry the title again, but is allowed to get an easy victory over a lumbering monster. It's too bad, actually. I'd much rather see HHH defend (and lose) against someone a bit smaller than him. That would create drama. A squash match against the horrible Khali does not create drama. It is a preposterous way to ask for my hard-earned summer dough.

Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 82

Fire 2: Mike Adamle As "Raw" General Manager
This move was played out Monday night, with no one in the building allegedly knowing about it, including announcer Jim Ross. While it's probably too early to rip this move, I'm going to anyway. So far, Adamle has done zippo to enhance any broadcast he's been on since his employment in WWE began a few months ago. Will this be where he shines, or will he continue his fish-out-of-water doofus routine? I'm hoping for the former because you don't become a big-time sports announcer without being talented – the job is too difficult. Frankly class, I'm puzzled. I was hoping this job would go to Ric Flair, Arn Anderson or Ted DiBiase Sr.

Fire 3: Mark Henry Vs. Matt Hardy?
Hardy is a fine contestant for any ECW title match. In fact, there's no real reason he isn't the ECW champ right now. My objection is putting the belt on Henry in the first place. When will WWE ever face the fact that today's fans really don't want to watch big, lumbering muscle-heads who can't move in the ring? Those days are over, but we're still force-fed these behemoths as champions. It would be different if Henry were adept at delivering a compelling promo, but he can't really do that either.

Fire 4: Too Many Tattoos
I was watching a recent match between C.M. Punk and Batista and spent more time trying to decipher their tattoos than actually paying attention to the grappling. What is going on with these people? How much body art does an individual need? Have you seen Rey Mysterio lately? There's barely a square inch of his skin unmarked by ink. Sure, they look OK, I guess, but the tattoos are way too distracting. When I was a kid, if someone had a tattoo, you'd say to yourself, "Boy, he seems like a tough guy." These days all I can come up with is, "Boy, that punk seems like he has too much time on his hands."

Fire 5: Undertaker's "Retirement" Ends
Well, that didn't last long. UT will be back in action at "SummerSlam" against Edge after he was told he'll "never" compete in WWE again. While I didn't believe this would stick (there's no reason for him to quit, unlike the aging Ric Flair), WWE should have shelved him until "WrestleMania 25" next spring. That could have made a colossal impact. Instead, this is just another match for a guy who took a few months off. As usual, WWE puts little or no thought into long-term booking.

Fire 6: TNA's Entire Operation
I love Kurt Angle. I think Booker T is phenomenal. Samoa Joe is great, as is Christian. Announcers Mike Tenay and Don West also do a fine job. But TNA consistently delivers a product that is a huge mess. The big problem is the presentation of convoluted matches that have so many stipulations that I couldn't follow them if I were the smartest man in the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm brilliant, but TNA's dizzying dunderhead booking completely bamboozles me and I'm sure is an episode in viewer frustration for millions of others. This promotion needs to get back to the basics of TV wrestling: a good guy versus a bad guy who tell a good story. Look up Shawn Michaels versus Chris Jericho in WWE for a textbook example of how this should be done.

Need more wrestling chatter? We have plenty in this week's installment of the "Old School, New School" podcast. After a three-week summer vacation, Dr. Mike Lano, George Schire and yours truly are back in action with another 30 minutes of audio gold. Don't believe me? The download this baby RIGHT HERE. It's Episode 82. As Mean Gene Okerlund used to say, "Don't you dare miss it!"

Now scram, you summer school runts. Because class is ... dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )

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